I miss blogging. I can't understand why for some reason I stopped doing it. Maybe too much happened to me in the past months that didn't allow me to share something in my blog.
I'm back. It's my rest day today and I'm doing nothing. I home alone, watch TV, checked email, cooked something, had an afternoon nap (very great) and since it's raining hard outside, it's a perfect time to write a blog.
During the last quarter of 2010, I would consider it as one of my darkest hour. We have to live separately with Mama and Papa. They have to live in Tagaytay (very far from us) as a call of duty. Those are the times that makes me cry in the middle of the night because of missing them so much. It's our first time to be away from them and the thought that it's for good really makes me sad.
Months passed and I'm still trying to figure out if I can still managed to live without mama and papa. I'm so dependent. My friends always tell me that maybe God has purpose of letting this happen to my family. But what can I do? I need to be strong and maybe the only thing that keeps me going is that Papa's health condition became better. I remembered, when we're still living together, there's always chaos. Mama and Papa always argues. Papa is not doing good co'z he's always drunk and that makes him vulnerable. God is really good. He find way to end our problems and the fact that they're also doing good there, that's more than enough to make me feel blessed. The only thing that makes me sad nowadays are the thought that we have to be away though it taught me how to do things with my own.
Now, I'm living with my sister together with her fiance'. First couple of month is good and I would say that what Mama and Papa told us before the separation lives us within. I just don't understand what's happening now. Where's the happiness, love and friendship that we build in the beginning of being together in one roof? I'm stressed. I want to live with my own. I want to be with myself. I don't want to be with them anymore. If it's not only for Mama who told me to stay here and help Ate financially since she's paying equity for her acquired property, I would moved to somewhere near to my workplace. I'm tired and sometimes can't help but cry just because of these things. For some people, I'm still blessed. Others don't even have a complete meal for one day. Sigh!
My life's journey has just started. I'm already 26 now and one thing I realized, I need to set my priorities. Though I have them on my mind, I think it is much better now to keep going and be motivated with these long term goals. I have to love and value my work so that I have something to support my plans. Settling down is not easy and a proper planning has to be taken.
Reaching our dream is like a punch in the moon. While it's getting closer, it is harder and more difficult near the end. Success does not measured by material things, it is something that's intangible. Whatever the outcome of my plans, I'm still proud that I did it with my own.
I'm back. It's my rest day today and I'm doing nothing. I home alone, watch TV, checked email, cooked something, had an afternoon nap (very great) and since it's raining hard outside, it's a perfect time to write a blog.
During the last quarter of 2010, I would consider it as one of my darkest hour. We have to live separately with Mama and Papa. They have to live in Tagaytay (very far from us) as a call of duty. Those are the times that makes me cry in the middle of the night because of missing them so much. It's our first time to be away from them and the thought that it's for good really makes me sad.
Months passed and I'm still trying to figure out if I can still managed to live without mama and papa. I'm so dependent. My friends always tell me that maybe God has purpose of letting this happen to my family. But what can I do? I need to be strong and maybe the only thing that keeps me going is that Papa's health condition became better. I remembered, when we're still living together, there's always chaos. Mama and Papa always argues. Papa is not doing good co'z he's always drunk and that makes him vulnerable. God is really good. He find way to end our problems and the fact that they're also doing good there, that's more than enough to make me feel blessed. The only thing that makes me sad nowadays are the thought that we have to be away though it taught me how to do things with my own.
Now, I'm living with my sister together with her fiance'. First couple of month is good and I would say that what Mama and Papa told us before the separation lives us within. I just don't understand what's happening now. Where's the happiness, love and friendship that we build in the beginning of being together in one roof? I'm stressed. I want to live with my own. I want to be with myself. I don't want to be with them anymore. If it's not only for Mama who told me to stay here and help Ate financially since she's paying equity for her acquired property, I would moved to somewhere near to my workplace. I'm tired and sometimes can't help but cry just because of these things. For some people, I'm still blessed. Others don't even have a complete meal for one day. Sigh!
My life's journey has just started. I'm already 26 now and one thing I realized, I need to set my priorities. Though I have them on my mind, I think it is much better now to keep going and be motivated with these long term goals. I have to love and value my work so that I have something to support my plans. Settling down is not easy and a proper planning has to be taken.
Reaching our dream is like a punch in the moon. While it's getting closer, it is harder and more difficult near the end. Success does not measured by material things, it is something that's intangible. Whatever the outcome of my plans, I'm still proud that I did it with my own.
