Redemption

January 2015 when I got an offer from a very good friend to go abroad and work there. The idea is not welcome to me at first. Because leaving my family would be my biggest challenge. I was never detached from them ever since. I am still connected with my company but I sensed that I am approaching the finish line.

I talk to my mom and some friend asking advice. Checked online blogs and testimonials about working abroad. I even flew to Bohol to ask sign from my dearest Lolo. The air ticket and the visa came the following month. And I think, this is it. I need to decide. YES or NO!

The answer is YES but with hesitation. 

But I laid my hands to God and ask for His guidance. 

March 31 is my last working day with Metrobank. Everyone is clueless because they have no idea that the next day they can no longer see me working with them. Yes, I resigned unproperly. And I'm so sorry for that. I did it for a selfish reason. What if I got denied at the immigration? If so, atleast I have a work to go back. 

The immigration process went smooth.

It's 9 hours travel to Abu Dhabi and I have all of it to think all back in the Philippines. To realized something I did wrong. To cry. To pray and to plan my future.

WELCOME TO UAE!

Taken at the arrival of Abu Dhabi International Airport - They are my new family here in UAE

I'm BACK!

Yes. It's been three worth years that I am not updating this blog. I have time (many) but I'd rather kept to myself whatever things happened to me. And I am sorry for not sharing those. 

The last time I wrote an entry is way back October 2012. I am still working my ass with Metrobank. Struggling with shifting schedules. Talking shit to clients and wasting half of my life (I think) battling with numerical based performance. 

The past 3 years have been very difficult for me in all aspect. Emotionally and financially unstable. I am depressed mainly because of my career. When I look back 2007 when I first hired as a staff, there's a big dreams within me. Working in one of Philippine's top bank is a pride not only for me but also to my family. During those days, I am blessed. The people around me are very passionate and enthusiast. I love them. I love those days. But those were the days now....

Too much work pressure triggered me to make what I considered the biggest decision in my life. To quit my once precious job. 

Putting an end to my comfort zone wasn't easy at start. I have to take a risk. I have so much to consider if I loose my job. My family. My car. My payables. My future. 

But I cannot see a future anymore here.

This saddens me a lot.

Graveyard Shift

For almost six years of working as CSR in Metrobank, this month is considered as one of my critical. Why? Because I'm on a graveyard shift.

First week has been very difficult to me. The adjustment period really affects me in a very different way. I felt dizzyness and terible headache. Sometimes I wanna throw up for some unusual reason which I don't know. Also, I'm having hard time travelling going to work. I'm not used to riding on a bus. Shuttle service is non available during my shift. That sucks I think.

Come with the second week and third week and I started liking graveyard. I enjoyed my GY mates. I have also less stress environment since we're just very few on the floor. Time comes really fast and I can't seem to noticed that its already end of shift. I have no record of tardy and absences for this month so far. I now love GY.

Sharing you with some pictures taken during our shift. Idle and system downtime.

From left to right : adriane, loren, jade and jessie

An epic pic. We're complete due to wrong schedule plotted for Loren. Still LOLing..

Beautiful eyebags.

Camwhoring with mates <3

Few Facts of Me

PART 1 : BASIC

Were you a planned baby?
- I'd like to believe, YES

 Were you the first?
 - No. The youngest.

 Were your parents married when you were born?
- Luckily, yes.

 What is your birth date?
- 2nd of August 1985.


PART 2: THE FAMILY

 Parents married or divorced?
- Married

 Are you an only child?
- No.

 Are you the oldest, middle, or youngest?
-  The youngest.

 Which parent do you get along with best?
 - My mom.

 Do you have step-parents?
 - none.


PART 3: THE FRIENDS

 Do you have more than one best friend?
 - Yes

 What do you like to do when you are together?
 - We enjoy eating, sleeping, shopping, and shit talking.

 Do you share the same interests?
 - yes we do!

 Which friend can you tell everything to?
 - the one who used to bully me since HS but now he's my best friend.


PART 4: YOUR PERSONALITY

 Do you have a low self esteem?
- yeah. maybe at times.

 Do you get depressed about things easily?
- No.

 Are you happy right now?
 - I can say so..

 Do you live life to the fullest?
 - ummm. yes but with limitations.


PART 5: APPEARANCE

 Are you comfortable with the way you look?
 - no.

 Describe your hair?
 - Shoulder length and straight so far. 

How do you dress?
- it depends on the occasions.

 Were you a strange child?
- Yes. I'm all of the things you'd never expect. 


PART 6: RANDOM

 Are you scared of growing up old and alone?
 - Yes. Everybody is doesn't want to live alone.


PART 7: THE OUTDOORS

 Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
 - During my early 20's, I preferred outdoors, but now on my late, I love to stay home.

 Favorite season?
- Summer and Christmas.

 Do you like walking in the rain?
 - No. I easily got sick.


PART 8: FOOD

 Are you a vegetarian?
- No.

Favorite food?
- More on breakfast food.

 What food makes you want to gag?
- Oyster. But I learn to love it with wine.

 What is your favorite dessert?
- Banana split.


PART 9: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight?
- No.

 Best gift from a wife/husband?
 - Endless love and Kids of course.

 Have you ever been in love?
 - Yes.

Have they ever loved you?
 - Yes.

5 Stages of Grief after a Relationship Break-Up

When there has been a dramatic change in our lives we feel a sense of loss for what has been. This is true if a long term relationship has ended or even a shorter term relationship where we have felt very intense emotions and love.

You are in fact feeling the emotions of grief. By understanding the stages of grieving you can move on more quickly to a point where you can rationally decide your next steps for the broken relationship. This may mean moving on from a relationship totally or making plans to get back together with your ex.

Not everyone follows the 5 stages of grief in order, sometimes stages are missed all together. Sometimes you may move backwards and forwards through the stages in a roller coaster of emotions. Everyone is different. By understanding the grieving process you will recognise what is happening and this empowers you to take control.
The Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial
When you have broken up you may initially feel numb. You know the relationship has ended but can not take it in that you have actually broken up. You hope that things will be "OK" later in the day or that things will be back to normal in the morning. The denial stage rarely lasts long as your ex does not come back home or return calls etc.

2. Anger
When you break up you often feel angry and look for someone to blame. Often rational thoughts go out of the window and we look to punish the person we feel is to blame for the break up of the relationship. This can be a very dangerous stage of grief. In a rage you may take some actions that will destroy any chance of getting back together with your ex, or even may be illegal and get you into serious trouble.

3. Bargaining/Buying your ex back
Some people actively try and buy back their ex and offer some sort of deal to get back together with their ex. This would include things like offering to move house, give up friendships or things you enjoy in return for a relationship. While this may seem ok in the short term, the underlying issues why the relationship broke up in the first place are not addressed so the new relationship rarely lasts. It also makes you seem desperate to your ex and may drive them further away.

4. Depression
When the anger about the relationship break up is over, you can often feel depressed. Everything feels hopeless; you have no energy, feel paralysed and don't know what to do next. This is when you realise fully that the relationship has ended and you will feel there is nothing you can do that will have a positive outcome. Depression is a difficult stage as often you will not have the energy to make changes to come out of it. Recognising the depression stage of grief is important and taking small steps and setting goals to come out the other end helps. If you find you are depressed for a while or are thinking of harming yourself, please seek professional help.

5. Acceptance
The final stage of grief is acceptance; you agree and accept that the relationship has ended. Now is the time to start making changes to move on. At this stage you will also be able to rationally think if you do actually want to get back together with your ex or to put the relationship behind you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3385375

Boredom!

I'm writing another shit because I'm bored. It's a second day of my off and I'm staying home alone. I slept, I ate, flooding on social media, watching torrent movie and bumming.

My back is acheing also. I think this is due to high pressure massage went last night. Well, I'm not used to any massage. It sucks!

HINDI LAHAT NG GUSTO MO, MAKUKUHA MO!

"Hindi lahat ng gusto mo, makukuha mo!" - That's a famous line from the movie "The Mistress". Ironically, it just happened na applicable pala sya sa sarili ko.

Usually, I got what I want. Kapag gusto ko ang isang bagay, I work hard to claim it. Lahat ng bagay kapag gustong makuha may paraan. Pero pano kung may nakikialam at humahadlang sa kagustuhan mo na makuha 'yon? Susuko ka nalang ba? 

We normally strive hard for something we want. It may be a long term goal or just a simple wish. Para sa akin, ako ang driver ng buhay ko. Lahat ng nangyayari sa akin, I am responsible for it. I blame no one if I fall. At kung may magandang mangyari man sa akin, credit ko 'yon sa sarili ko.

Ginugusto ko ang isang bagay kasi alam ko mapapasaya ako nito. Parang gusto naten ang isang tao kasi nagbibigay sya ng dahilan para masaya tayo. Sana lang talaga walang "epal". Hindi ko kasi maintindihan na sa panahong sila naman ang nasa sitwasyon ko wala silang narinig sa skin na masama. Nagpaubaya ako kahit alam ko na may mapipintas ako. But I chose to be quite. Dedma lang, as in "Like I Care". 

Ngayon, kung kelan dapat hindi sila makialam sa takbo ng buhay ko, eh tsaka naman sila kumikilos at kung anu anong sinasabi. Ang masasabi ko lang, "Hindi mo ako kagaya at hindi ko rin hinihingi ang opinyon mo sa buhay ko". Kung ano man mangyari sa akin, labas kana sana don kasi buhay ko 'to. 

I can't talk to anyone with regards to my situation pero sa totoo lang gusto ko na sumabog at magdissappear nalang bigla. 

Gusto ko, kaya makukuha ko. And I will move heaven and mountains to claim what I want. I'm strong enough to do unsure things in me. 

KAYA 'WAG KANG EPAL OK!

Stranger with Memories - 2012

I'm back on blogging because I'm bored. It's been several months since the last time a wrote. 

For now, I just want to share some happenings in my life for the past couple of months.

To start, last July, I went on a vacation. I visited some relatives in my hometown and have it consider as a break as well from a very stressful and busy life afar from Manila. I went to Bohol to relax and to celebrate with the others for their much anticipated town fiesta. Before I left, I planned to travel alone. It's one of my dream to be with no one on board. That moment is very exciting to meet some strangers and I must say travelling going to airport alone really makes me feel uneasy because the thought of plane crash and the fact that I know no one really trigger my wide sense of imagination. I might fucked up if that's the case.

Arrival area. Baggage checked in. Waiting in vain sucks. I was two hours earlier from my flight schedule. I tried to look for some entertainment but I'm thinking more if who's gonna be my seatmate inside the plane. I prayed he's a man, a yuppy going on a vacation or a "kababayan" also going home. 

My flight schedule went on time. Already on board. Check-in counter got me an ideal window seat. But all my hopes are very disappointing. I have no one on my side. Can you imagine an hour plane travel with no one to talk to? That's really depressing. But what can I do? Maybe that seat beside me is a "no-show" seat. I tried to ask one of the FA's and I was advised that since Miler's seat are no longer available during my check-in time, they opt to emptied my side seat just to give me pleasure and that's the least they could do for me. Crap!

Landed at Tagbilaran Airport just in time. But the weather is horribly bad. Rain is pouring hard as if sky is crying. My all-time favorite cousin fetch me. That day, I thought I couldn't enjoy my vacation. Manila weather is same as bad as with Bohol. I'm nagging all the time I was there that day.

Come the next morning. Sun is up. God gave the best he could have for me and that's "Sunshine". While I was glued on bed, everyone in the house were early bird and busy. I can hear pigs are screaming loud to death. Ummm.. that's really great and I think party has just started. 

On the night before the fiesta proper, we decided to go on a barangay disco. I cant't help to laughed myself where I am that moment. Jeeezzz! Thank God most of the people there were my cousins and relatives. We got drunk and we even stay there until the dawn. And the funniest part, we were the one who initiate the "Lupang Hinirang", signs of backing off. We came home around 5:00 in the morning. That's pretty cool. All my peers got drunk and wasted except me.

After the much celebrated fiesta, boredom arises big time. There are scheduled trips but none yet are confirmed. Only with the post fiesta swimming get-to-together thingy. We were invited by that clan. We went to the beach to have fun and share food and drinks. There, I met a troubled cheeky drunk guy. I just hate him to pour water on my hair. I planned not to swim that time since it's not good for my hair, but this guy did really bad on me. He's cute, yeah! But he's none like other typical guy who make fun of each girl. A very not serious one. And I thank the divine providence that that day ended well even if I went home wet. After that event, another silent and boring days come. My last day of vacation is fast approaching but I'm really thinking to extend the days. Confirmed! I did No-Show on my return flight. I still have one week to stay before going back to work and I wanted to spend it there, not on a flooded Manila that time. 

More party happened and trips. I was also surprised when I got an SMS from that cheeky guy whom I met at the beach. This time, he sounds no trouble. Though, there are time he teased me, I can stand on it. Before I left he went to visit me. Damn, he's beyond cooler this time. I like him but there are lots to consider. He knows how to do sweet things. But like I always said, "What you see, what you feel, When you leave, Leave it Here!"

The vacation is over. We're all back to real world and wishing doesn't make the reality go away. We're still communicating but no hopes for now. There are sweet promises but I can't consider it of holding on. Those are just words that are uttered in a wrong place at the wrong time. I'm just glad he made spice on my vacation. No pressure since it's just a fantasy and it will never ever be a real thing. That was just an epic history.

So now, I'm excited for the next year's trip again. I'm excited to what God's plan for me. Whatever it is, I'm here easy to drag myself to what it is. This year's vacation is one of the most memorable yet far to reality. 

Thank you for reading. I hope I was able to entertain your boring time.

15 Healthy Foods That Help Reduce Stress

Doing a lot of task everyday may lead us to stress. Yes we can avoid it but most of the time we can't afford to escape it. To ease ourselves we tend to eat foods more on calories which we think can help us to relieve from stress. Comfort food can help us but we may not know that it can harm us as well. I will share some list of healthy food that we can take to medicate stress and at the same time can't give us bad effect.

APPLES

It is rich in phosphorous and iron, which help boost cell regeneration that is negatively affected in times of stress. This means that if your skin breaks out when you're stressed, eating an apple can help repair the damage by building new healthy skin tissue.

AVOCADOS

Rich is monounsaturated fats, as well as potassium which both help decrease blood pressure levels.

BANANAS 

Bananas are a good source of potassium, which fights fatigue, insomnia, and low blood sugar, as well as carbohydrates, which produce the natural sedative serotonin. Carbohydrates are most commonly associated with fare like pasta and potatoes, but since these are both comfort foods which fall under the easily-abused-when-stressed category, it would probably be wiser to eat a banana instead.

DARK CHOCOLATE

We've told you before that dark chocolate lessens emotional stress, so yes, that chocolate craving that hits you whenever you’re stressed is actually a good thing (as long as you practice moderation). Dark chocolate contains magnesium, which helps tranquilize tension. It’s also rich in theo bromine, which is a natural mood elevator. However, theo bromine is also known to stimulate the brain, and will probably aggravate a person who is already stressed to begin with—so take care not to ingest too much chocolatey goodness.

DRIED APRICOTS

Why not exchange your stash of sweet treats for a pack of dried apricots? They’re good for you, are pretty tasty, and best of all, contain magnesium, which is a natural stress-reliever and muscle relaxant.

GREEN VEGETABLES

Green vegetables like broccoli, kale, and Swiss chard contain potassium and B vitamins like folic acid which soothe the nerves and alleviate stress. Experiment with your meals by slipping verde veggies into soups, pastas, and even sandwiches—the possibilities are endless.

HERBS

Herbs like chamomile, passion flower, and dandelion are effective stress relievers because they relax your mind and the muscles in your body. Steep them into fragrant teas to savor the full calming experience.

NUTS

The next time you see a movie after a stress-packed workweek, munch on some mixed nuts—particularly pistachios, walnuts and almonds. Pistachios and walnuts bring down blood pressure, while almonds help boost the immune system.

ORANGES

Pack a bottle of OJ or a few orange wedges with your daily baon. Oranges are rich in Vitamin C, which boosts your immune system and reduces its susceptibility to virus. A German study in Psychopharmacology has also proven that Vitamin C helps reduce anxiety by bringing down blood pressure after a stressful situation, according to this MSN Health & Fitness article.

SALMON

Incorporate salmon into your workweek fare to help curb stress. According to this Delish.com article, a Diabetes & Metabolism study discovered that the omega-3 fatty acids in salmon, tuna, and other fish prevent stress hormones from escalating. 

SPINACH

Make like Popeye and have some spinach! Like apricots, spinach is rich in magnesium—so much so, in fact, that one cup of the green stuff contains 40 percent of the magnesium you need in a day. Spinach also helps fight fatigue and migraines—two bothersome effects of stress.

SWEET POTATOES 

Substitute your craving for fries with some sweet potato slivers. Sweet potatoes will give you the same soothing sensation that you get from eating chips or candy bars—plus, they’re packed with fiber, beta-carotene, and other immunity-boosting vitamins.

TURKEY

If you’re sick of the same old chicken breast, give turkey a taste. Turkey is full of tryptophan, which is a “feel-good” amino acid. Tryptophan helps trigger serotonin, a chemical that produces a calming effect on the body, and melatonin, a hormone that induces sleep and relaxation. In other words, you’ll be stress-free and bed-ready in no time!

WHOLE GRAINS

Have a bowl of brown rice instead of white, or an oatmeal cookie in lieu of a chocolate chip one. Whole grains like brown rice, oats, and whole wheat are chock full of B Vitamins and the chemical serotonin, which calm the nerves and put your body in a state of relaxation.

YOGURT 

Everyone’s favorite cold treat just got even sweeter! Yogurt is full of calcium, which helps regulate our nerves. Also, this creamy snack is a great acid neutralizer for those of you who are hyper acidic or have ulcers due to stress.

source: FemaleNetwork.com

This would be my first entry on my blog for this year. And I want to start it with sharing an article regarding love and relationship. Since I have been surrounded with broken-hearted people, this article may help them (somehow) to get up.

The 5 Stages of Grief After a Relationship Break Up

When there has been a dramatic change in our lives we feel a sense of loss for what has been. This is true if a long term relationship has ended or even a shorter term relationship where we have felt very intense emotions and love.You are in fact feeling the emotions of grief. By understanding the stages of grieving you can move on more quickly to a point where you can rationally decide your next steps for the broken relationship. This may mean moving on from a relationship totally or making plans to get back together with your ex.

Not everyone follows the 5 stages of grief in order, sometimes stages are missed all together. Sometimes you may move backwards and forwards through the stages in a roller coaster of emotions. Everyone is different. By understanding the grieving process you will recognise what is happening and this empowers you to take control.

1. Denial

When you have broken up you may initially feel numb. You know the relationship has ended but can not take it in that you have actually broken up. You hope that things will be "OK" later in the day or that things will be back to normal in the morning. The denial stage rarely lasts long as your ex does not come back home or return calls etc.

2. Anger

When you break up you often feel angry and look for someone to blame. Often rational thoughts go out of the window and we look to punish the person we feel is to blame for the break up of the relationship. This can be a very dangerous stage of grief. In a rage you may take some actions that will destroy any chance of getting back together with your ex, or even may be illegal and get you into serious trouble.

3. Bargaining/Buying your ex back

Some people actively try and buy back their ex and offer some sort of deal to get back together with their ex. This would include things like offering to move house, give up friendships or things you enjoy in return for a relationship. While this may seem ok in the short term, the underlying issues why the relationship broke up in the first place are not addressed so the new relationship rarely lasts. It also makes you seem desperate to your ex and may drive them further away.

4. Depression

When the anger about the relationship break up is over, you can often feel depressed. Everything feels hopeless; you have no energy, feel paralysed and don't know what to do next. This is when you realise fully that the relationship has ended and you will feel there is nothing you can do that will have a positive outcome. Depression is a difficult stage as often you will not have the energy to make changes to come out of it. Recognising the depression stage of grief is important and taking small steps and setting goals to come out the other end helps. If you find you are depressed for a while or are thinking of harming yourself, please seek professional help.

5. Acceptance

The final stage of grief is acceptance; you agree and accept that the relationship has ended. Now is the time to start making changes to move on. At this stage you will also be able to rationally think if you do actually want to get back together with your ex or to put the relationship behind you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3385375

I miss blogging. I can't understand why for some reason I stopped doing it. Maybe too much happened to me in the past months that didn't allow me to share something in my blog.

I'm back. It's my rest day today and I'm doing nothing. I home alone, watch TV, checked email, cooked something, had an afternoon nap (very great) and since it's raining hard outside, it's a perfect time to write a blog.

During the last quarter of 2010, I would consider it as one of my darkest hour. We have to live separately with Mama and Papa. They have to live in Tagaytay (very far from us) as a call of duty. Those are the times that makes me cry in the middle of the night because of missing them so much. It's our first time to be away from them and the thought that it's for good really makes me sad.

Months passed and I'm still trying to figure out if I can still managed to live without mama and papa. I'm so dependent. My friends always tell me that maybe God has purpose of letting this happen to my family. But what can I do? I need to be strong and maybe the only thing that keeps me going is that Papa's health condition became better. I remembered, when we're still living together, there's always chaos. Mama and Papa always argues. Papa is not doing good co'z he's always drunk and that makes him vulnerable. God is really good. He find way to end our problems and the fact that they're also doing good there, that's more than enough to make me feel blessed. The only thing that makes me sad nowadays are the thought that we have to be away though it taught me how to do things with my own.

Now, I'm living with my sister together with her fiance'. First couple of month is good and I would say that what Mama and Papa told us before the separation lives us within. I just don't understand what's happening now. Where's the happiness, love and friendship that we build in the beginning of being together in one roof? I'm stressed. I want to live with my own. I want to be with myself. I don't want to be with them anymore. If it's not only for Mama who told me to stay here and help Ate financially since she's paying equity for her acquired property, I would moved to somewhere near to my workplace. I'm tired and sometimes can't help but cry just because of these things. For some people, I'm still blessed. Others don't even have a complete meal for one day. Sigh!

My life's journey has just started. I'm already 26 now and one thing I realized, I need to set my priorities. Though I have them on my mind, I think it is much better now to keep going and be motivated with these long term goals. I have to love and value my work so that I have something to support my plans. Settling down is not easy and a proper planning has to be taken.

Reaching our dream is like a punch in the moon. While it's getting closer, it is harder and more difficult near the end. Success does not measured by material things, it is something that's intangible. Whatever the outcome of my plans, I'm still proud that I did it with my own.

Hot Spotz

I've been thinking lately where to spend a short vacae or maybe a weekend gateaway. I did consider out of town but no one will come with me, if only jerwin & merwin are here, surely we will have a blast in Tagaytay or Batangas. Summer hasn't end yet though its raining hard everyday. People still planning vacation activities and looking for a great spot to spend. Listed are some vacation spot that would help you enjoy with your love ones

• Terrazas de Punta Fuego - Punta Fuego's newest enclave, Terrazas is situated within a two-hour drive from Manila. Conveniently located in Nasugbu, Batangas via Tagaytay-Nasugbu Tourism Highway is the closest clean water beach destination south of Manila, 10 minutes away from Peninsula de Punta Fuego and 30 minutes away from Tagaytay City. It boasts of 800 meters of fine white sand and pristine clear waters making this the best swimming beach in Nasugbu, Batangas. Unique landscape affords many wonderful scenic views of either the Batangas mountain range or the South China Sea.

• Day's Hotel Tagaytay - Day's Inn 1998 International Property of the Year - 5 Sunbursts and Chairman's Award Winner - The invigorating climate provides the Hotel with a cool ambiance perfect for a relaxing stay - It is considered by many as the most beautiful hotel in the country - It has 48 standard rooms, 12 superior and 8 deluxe - Each room has its own balcony overlooking a spectacular view of the lake and volcano - Days Hotel Tagaytay features a scenic elevator, a roof deck restaurant and bar, swimming pool, kiddie pool, a function room for 120 people, a business center, specialty shops and other services such as travel, tour arrangements and shuttle service - All rooms have a porch overlooking the world famous Taal and Volcano - Scenic elevator overlooking the lake - A bar with see through glass panels - 20 minute drive to championship golf courses of Nasugbu, Batangas - 10 minute drive to city proper - 5 minute drive to government office complex - 45 minute drive to the towns of Taal and Talisay, the starting point of the trek to the volcano cone